The Magic of the Young Child’s Play

 "If a child has been able in her play to give up her whole loving being to the world around her, she will be able, in the serious tasks of later life, to devote herself with confidence and power to the service of the world."

-Rudolf Steiner

As Humans, we all crave more playful experiences in our lives. Playing with our children invites us to tap into that playful part of ourselves. Young children need to have a playful connection with their parents and caregivers. It helps form a strong attachment and brings much joy to the family culture. And while parent-child bonding through play is vital, it can not replace the all importent magic of child- directed play.

 From birth to 7 yrs, the independant play of the young child is an innate capacity that blossoms as the child develops. It is intensely creative, imaginative and explorative. It is also highly individual. If you have ever had the honor of silently observing a young child’s un-interrupted play you will have had a little glimpse inside their soul.

The devotion and attentiveness in the young child while they are playing is unlike any other activity. The play is timeless and very real for the young child. It flows freely out of the child like a river, always moving, always transforming and utterly satisfying to the child. Play is the young child’s joyful expression of soul taken hold by the will and it allows the child to make relationships between self and the world. 

Durring this creative play experience, the young child learns skills they will have for the rest of their life. This of course includes the ability to socialize and learn empathy and create a meaningful relationship with their environment. But they are also experiencing sensory exploration, physical connection, individual expression, creative thinking as well as emotional regulation and integration. In essence, being able to play allows a child to process their everyday experiences and create new ones. They build whole worlds through their play. We may not understand those worlds or always get to see them but they are real for the child they will be important for their future.

Child directed play has almost a dream-like quality and can not be contained or intellectualized. It doesn’t need to be currated or formed or stimulated by the adult. It doesn’t even need to have a purpose. It just is! In the child’s self initiated play they are one with the world. Unlike adult directed play, there are no goals, perameters or “teaching moments”. The more we interject those qualities into our childrens play the more they become disconnected from the magic of their play. If a child has a lot of adult directed play then they loose the imaginative thread and one-ness with the world and become dependent on their parents for play. 

How can we help foster our child’s independant play?

Many Parents tell me that their child can’t play by themselves and needs them to play with them most of the time. This is hard on both child and parent. The child doesn’t get the opportunity to develop their own imaginative thinking and processing skills through creative play and the parent doesn’t get anything done. This is the most common reason I see that families choose to introduce screens to their children even when they know they aren’t healthy for young children. Sadly, screen time is the biggest deterant to a child’s innate ability to play. So what do we do to help a young child develop the capacity for independant play? Well, it is really more about what we don’t do- how we can get out of the way and let the magic unfold.

 It actually begins with infancy. Allowing our babies uninterrupted opportunities and unrestricted space several times each day to discover their hands and feet (their first toys) and then their toys is so important. They need to feel safe and cozy in our arms but they also need the freedom to move and explore independantly. This paves the way for longer moments of independant play as well as trusting their own autonomy -so important for healthy movement development and self soothing. We can do our tasks beside them so they feel our closeness and we maintain the loving attachment.

As our little ones become more mobile, play also becomes all about movement. How high? How loud? How far? Everything is like a physics experience for their toys and their own bodies. Young children are also great imitators and love to do what we are doing so allowing them to work and play alongside us is very important to them. We can continue to do our tasks nearby and they will flow in and out of our work, gradually playing more on their own as long as they know we are still there. As children cross the three year  threshold, their growing capacity for independance and blossoming imagination will create the container for that beautiful, sustaining self-initiated play they were born to experience.

Things to remember for imaginative play:

• Choose open ended, natural toys that allow a child’s imagination to take hold. 
•  Create time and space in your daily rhythm for play. Too many classes and events with adult guidelines leave little time for your own child’s creativity.
• Screen time keeps your child passive and dependent on someone else’s fully formed pictures and concepts. The quick dopamine hits alone play havoc on the young child’s slow, unfolding sense of self.
• Honor play in your family! Play together but also allow time for your child to get lost in their own world.